Staying focused in class is a hard task and being a young “adult” shouldn’t be the excuse for why I should be responsible enough to pay attention.
Having to do school online sounds much easier than it is. Sitting in front of a screen, for several hours, with low-quality audio and class video calls lagging is difficult to adjust to. Now add those basics while being at home with multiple other distractions.
There’s nothing special about being at home and learning online. Adjusting to find a setting where I won’t get interrupted isn’t the hard part, paying attention and feeling like I learned something is the hardest part. Yes. It is because I can’t focus. And yes. It is because half the work teachers give seems pointless.
About staying focused…well what does that even mean? Does it affect me beyond an academic level? Does it even matter if I don’t pay attention? These questions run through my head while I switch through the same three apps on my phone while being on zoom calls. As I do this, I do feel shame, but I can’t help it. Staring at a screen with a whole bunch of names is nothing but sad and boring. Half the teachers seem like they don’t care, they’ll take role, give work, and that’s the end of the call. The setting at home doesn’t matter as much as the setting for the online class. If I don’t feel like the class is important I’ll go on my phone instead. It’s not that I don’t care, but concentrating on such a thing is so dreadful. I do not blame teachers, I acknowledge that everyone is still trying to adjust to working from home. But I repeat even if there is a place at home where I can sit and learn peacefully, I will not be able to focus.
“You’re not seven, you’re seventeen, you know right from wrong, don’t let your freedom of learning at home collide with school.” Something my mom left as a reminder on a sticky note. I’ll admit there is a lack of responsibility but using “as young adults you need to…” isn’t the answer to start being responsible. As long as I’m passing my classes, it is unclear if I’ll be able to stay focused while learning through the mediocre chromebook setting I’m put in.