A collection Moval students’ thoughts, feelings, and experiences during the time of COVID19



April 24, 2020, Anonymous

“And when you call I put your sweater on and put you on speaker

And chat for hours underneath the trees and think about the last time you were lying next to me 

How the noise from the cars got louder and louder during rush hour

Until it sounded like a river or stream 

And it felt like we were swimming, but it wasn’t just a dream

We were just happy.   — Lana Del Rey  

April 24, Anonymous

Well sheesh, It seems like I change every week, cause last week I was on top of my game school work wise, This week not so much but it’s not like it was due to procrastination . It was just one of those weeks. Maybe it’s because last week was so fun and entertaining going to the beach, views, friends, and celebrations. The aftermath probably just caught up to my body . Today is Wednesday 29 of 2020 and my friends are coming over to have a little homework sesh. It really helps us focus on getting it done. I believe it’s due to the fact that we’re all working so it’s hard to get side tracked . Im very scared to go back to work this week but extremely happy . I feel I forgot a few formulas to the sandwiches at Subway and I’m scared I won’t be as fast, however I’m really happy to go back to work to stack my money tall cause I’ve been struggling, I still have savings but that’s money I don’t like tapping into. I’m working closing shifts Saturday and Sunday so I’m hoping I just get one day with the homie Shannel . I really miss my dad, I’d kinda do anything to go see him because I’m afraid he can catch it given his circumstances being in a recovery home in San Pedro and also having a weak immune system . I’m also really mad that I’m seventeen like I was only three months away from getting that unemployment money . I would be straight copping pieces (cool clothing) but I simply did not make it . Today my goal is to get as much homework done as possible. It’s not due till like Monday or Friday but today seems like the day to get stuff done .

April 26, 2020, Sommer Sechang



April 29, 2020, Anonymous

Today I did the same thing I’ve been doing for the past month or so. I can’t keep count of the days anymore. I haven’t been out and if i do go out it’s just to throw out trash or to see if there’s parking for my mom. I feel like I keep cleaning a house and a room that has already been cleaned and does not need anymore cleaning. I also feel like I’ve been going through the same 5 apps on my phone to “entertain” me but in reality they stopped entertaining me. I know I’ve always been used to staying home cause I choose to but now knowing that I have to is gives me this ick I’ve never been in my room for so long I usually go to store with my mom and sister but now all we seem to talk about is all the new information that comes out every day. But two things that seem to rub me wrong way is that nurses are required to file every death not including murder as covid-19 is scary just knowing this is what it’s come to it’s like no one can die at peace and it’s just really messed up. And also that Trump made an announcement or statement for people to drink or inject themselves with Lysol or Clorox is just absurd like who says that? I find myself more and more sad and losing a lot of weight. Even though I eat a lot I also find myself sleeping more and having vivid dreams that do scare me at times. But one thing that truly just bothers me is that people keep saying everything will go back to “normal.” THERE’S NO NORMAL ANYMORE and people should realize that no matter how many years pass it will never be normal. people lost family members to this we all are scared and it’s the truth no matter how many people say “i don’t care it’s nothing” it is something it’s our lives. Also I hate the racism people are giving towards Asians. It’s just wrong and disgusting and never okay nor should it be justified to any race because at the end of the day we really don’t 100% know where the virus came we just know where it was first discovered.

April 30, Annette Vazquez

The other day a friend reminded me that this year was my last year of high school. Meaning that I’m a senior and was supposed to experience all the activities that go along with that, such as prom, grad nite, graduation, etc. I broke down crying because I didn’t quite realize how affected I was being by this pandemic. I repressed the thoughts and acted as if everything going on is fine, but it really isn’t. I’m slowly losing it staying indoors and am becoming mentally/ emotionally drained. At this time, I have no motivation to continue school. I have no motivation to choose a university to attend in the fall. I feel as if I’m becoming numb with everything. Nothing on the news shocks me. As deaths become numbered every day, my mind is starting to normalize this kind of lifestyle. I don’t want this situation to stay like this, but I don’t know how to go back to how I was. How everything was. How I was eagerly excited to do work at school. How I miss being eagerly excited to choose my career and university. How excited I was to start a life of my own. I miss that part of myself. Please come back! 

April 30, Alejandra Nava-Sanchez

Things started to change out of nowhere. No one was truly prepared for this quarantine. It has helped me realize to be more thankful for my everyday life and not take things for granted. But there are some positives out of this. I am able to reflect on certain things and work on myself. 

May 1, Evette Gallardo

It’s 3:30 on a Friday afternoon, this assignment is late and I have been sitting on my kitchen table “doing homework” since 10:00 this morning. If that doesn’t show you how big of a procrastinator I am and how easily it is for me to get off track, I don’t know what will. I still have to clean the house – I’ve been cleaning for money because I have no job – and I still need to finish my laundry. Life hasn’t been too eventful, but we did get a pool and volleyball net, so my brother and I are trying to keep ourselves occupied outside and have fun. Distance learning has been both a treat and a disaster for me because I like how I’m able to relax a little bit about things, but I also SUCK at motivating myself to work. I’m trying though and sometimes, like today, won’t leave the table until I’ve gotten more than one assignment done. The weather has been exceptional and I’m soaking up as much sun as I can without having a heat stroke. I had my second therapy appointment over the phone this week, which wasn’t too bad. I guess that’s one thing I really like about quarantine; watching myself grow at a normal pace and being able to acknowledge my feelings. Of course, this process is a rollercoaster, but I’m learning to run the race at a pace I’m most comfortable with – slow and steady wins the race (so the tarot cards were right!). I just hope that once this is all over I can continue to practice self-care and healthier ways to deal with my depression. I don’t want to go back to living life in the fast lane, being constantly stressed out, and crying in the school bathroom – that’s one thing I DO NOT want. So I will continue to grow through this tough time and come out stronger and one step closer to victory.

May 3, Anonymous

Something that’s been bothering me is all the people that went out in big groups at Huntington Beach, the residents were protesting about the beach closures. Many nurses and doctors are risking their lives to save lives, they are just putting more stress and pressure on nurses and doctors because they have more people to worry about. I understand that this pandemic came and we were unprepared but we should at least help and stay home to slow down the spread. I also think that all this Coronavirus pandemic could have been ignored because if people on social media didn’t make a big deal out of it, scientists could have more time to find a cure, many people didn’t have to get sick but now even dog can get it! I just think that common sense isn’t that common and that’s why we are basically killing ourselves and the earth.          

May 3, Evette Gallardo

It’s crazy watching how everyone is dealing with this differently. I can’t help but feel bad for blossoming while there are others deteriorating; like here take my petals and make do with them because you deserve to feel good too! Here are some songs that always put me in a good mood or just make me feel like things are going to be okay:

– I Could Fight On a Wall by Aquilo

– Midnight City by M83

– Landslide by Oh Wonder

– This Love by Housefires ( a little worship music never hurt )

– Live Well by Palace

– Rollercoaster by Bleachers

– You Get What You Give by New Radicals

– Grow by Conan Gray

– Here Comes The Sun by The Beatles

– Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners

– Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

– Got to Be Real by Cheryl Lynn

– Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas

– Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow

– Darlin’ by The Beach Boys

– La vie en rose specifically sung by Louis Armstrong

– Your Song by Elton John

– I Was Born To Love You by Queen

I could literally go on and on if I wanted to, but I’ll just stop here. I really hope some sunshine casts down on those that are feeling gloomy; you deserve some sun.

May 6, Sommer Sechang

Just some quarantine things:

May 7, Anonymous

Wow I need a daytrip, been working and I feel like I miss me . Lately, I’ve been feeling like something is missing . This week has consisted of coffee in the morning and nutella for brunch.  Yeah, that’s how messed up Covid has been. I’ve been eating brunch . As of right now I’m so tired, I’ve been grinding in History class cause for some reason Mr.Stone felt it was okay to give students like 4 major projects that are due like 2 days apart from one another . However he had us do our final and I’m hoping that means Students are about done with his class cause out of the four projects I’m extremely sure that I deserve an A on two of em and about a C at the lowest for the other two . I really just want an A in his class for some reason . But we’re finally reading The Great Gatsby in my english class, I can’t tell you how long i’ve been wanting to read that book. The only thing that kept me from reading it was that I knew I’d eventually end up reading it Junior year . I’m really content with the hours I’ve been getting at subway and I like working with my coworkers, specifically boy Ariel and Shannel. Time flies by working with them, they’re my bros . Though it’s really hard juggling all these things in life I feel like it’ll all be alright soon, but lately I get the feeling I might die soon, I get that feeling a lot so I’m sure its nothing but who knows if I do die though I hope people make my life a movie cause so much cool dope stuff has happened in it . But the biggest thing that has been jabbing my heart, as of recent is my Daddy issues. 

May 7, Annette Vazquez

I will be attending UCR in the fall and as I feel that I made the best choice for my future, I also feel like I let a friend down. We made plans about going to the same school which was UCSC, but as many other problems arose, I came to the conclusion that going to UCSC was not the best thing for me and my family. I feel like this has caused complications in our friendship, and as much as she assures me that “it’s fine,” I will always wonder what would have happened if I had gone with her to UCSC. But I’m actually happy with my choice. It’s the best decision for my family because I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing them every day. It was the best for my dad, because I know if I would have left, my dad’s depressive-state would have returned once again, and I didn’t want that. So I’m happy with my choice, I really am, but I don’t want to lose my best friend. I promise I’ll text you from time to time to see how you are. And I’m sure you will do great on your own in Santa Cruz! 

May 11, Anonymous

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside of you.” -Unknown   

May 13, Sommer Sechang

May 14, Evette Gallardo

I have come to the conclusion that I have got a lot to say about life that is just too much to write down and I want to make the most of what is going on so I am going to start a podcast! Not really sure on the name yet but I thought of something along the lines of coffee anytime. It’s kind of simple and my mom helped me come up with it, but I am a coffee addict and I liked the idea of people listening whilst we sip coffee together at any time of the day (even before bed if you a true coffee champ). But yeah, also I’ve been honestly really scared by the concept of death, don’t know why, but I kind of think my anxieties are just trying to get the best of me. So to cope I’ve been digging deeper into my faith and trying to find peace in God’s word. It’s been nice and I’ve got a routine going which is great. Here’s one of my favorite verses: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NLT) Powerful. I hope everyone out there is doing okay. 

May 14, Anonymous

Hi friends,

This is my first quarantine diary entry. This quarantine has messed with my mental health a lot. I tend to get sad a lot, not because I’m home with family or anything. My family is the only thing keeping me sane. But, my thoughts are just jumbled up and I can’t seem to think straight. Other days I feel lonely. Other days I JUST want to be alone. I know that some people think of this as a vacation but I can’t. A vacation is something that can be memorable and fun. Now this pandemic is memorable but not because it is fun. The reason it is memorable is because we are stuck at home. For the seniors it is memorable because they didn’t get the prom they wanted or the grad night that they wish they could get. For others it is because we are not able to see our friends and let’s face it texting and facetime isn’t the same. For others it doesn’t matter and this is truly a vacation for them. For me personally I have done the same thing over and over again which consists of going to sleep at four in the morning, waking up at two in the afternoon, working out, eating, showering, playing video games, and repeat. So for me this isn’t a vacation. I know it seems that our days are just not fun and it can make you fall into a hole you fought so hard to get out of.  So if that’s how you feel just know you aren’t alone. I feel that way too, and I’m sure others do too. 

May 14, Annette Vazquez

Again I still have no motivation to do work but what’s new? I’m stressing over my English class, that’s an actual college class because all our work is due May 29th and I literally have half of it done. But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to do the work– and that’s honestly my fault and I brought that upon myself but I just can’t do it. But anyways, I have an AP Econ exam next week and I don’t want to do that either because I never really understood half of the things my teacher taught. But yeah, I hope everyone is doing great ad is being safe! <3

May 15, Anonymous

I hate writing these because they always make me cry because I can finally say what’s on my mind and hopefully someone truly cares about what I have to say anyways, these past two weeks have been the worst weeks for me during this quarantine just because I’ve been getting these bad headaches that make my vision so blurry and I can’t sleep at night since my head is pounding all night even if I would take my medication for it and it would not go away. Everything seems to annoy me and I feel like I have no time for myself. Just because I’m playing a role that I did not sign up for has been making me grow up so fast that I can’t even remember the last time I genuinely felt happy or comfortable with myself in years now. Lately I feel like my sister sees or expects me to fail, especially now that I talk to her a lot. Mostly when I talk about what I want to do in the future she sometimes tells me “if you even make it that far” and it discourages which might be the reason I feel unmotivated to do literally anything. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this because they feel the need to put their two cents in and lecture me and I just keep it all in till I cant anymore when all I want someone to just hear me out it’s just hurts when it’s your family bringing you down when you push yourself so hard to succeed and no matter what they say you would still to anything and everything for them.

May 18, Evette Gallardo

Din Djarin. That’s it. If you don’t know who that is I’m sorry.


May 21, Annette Vazquez

Today I went to go pick up my cap and gown from school. Don’t get me wrong, it felt good being back on campus for only a few minutes… but I can’t help the fact of feeling like we’re being forced as seniors to sort of forget high school and move on with our lives. And as selfish as this sounds, I wish this never happened. Us seniors would have had a real graduation, as a whole class, rather than being divided by last names and different times to determine what time you get to walk the stage. I won’t get to hear my friend’s names being called out. I won’t get to take pictures with my friends and teachers, saying goodbye because we’ll all be going our separate ways. I won’t get to experience the feeling of screaming and shouting as they say “Congratulations class of 2020.” I’m being forced to say goodbye to a place where I spent my last four years being surrounded by people I love. And maybe I’m being over exaggerated and sensitive, but we didn’t deserve this. The class of 2020 was robbed from the best moment one could ever have. 

May 22, Sommer Sechang

May 26, Annette Vazquez

Its May 26, 2020, and it’s currently 2:18 a.m. I am smiling while writing this because I am content with where I am. Something about the night always gives me confidence in who I am as a person. I’ve spent the whole day reflecting on myself, and I’m proud. I’m proud that I am almost done with school and that soon I will be attending a university. I’m proud that I didn’t end up like the rest of my siblings. I’m proud that my dad can look at me as a success story rather than a failure. I’m proud to be the first one in the family to actually earn a diploma without anyone having to drag me to finally get it. I did this on my own. As a kid, I taught myself the importance of education and I’m proud of myself. Knowing that I’m the first to go to a 4-year university really makes me happy. And maybe I’m being too prideful right now, but this is the reason why my parents came to America. For this exact reason, for me to feel this way; to be happy and joyful with my life, and that’s something I will forever be thankful for. 

May 29, Evette Gallardo

An ode to those that don’t feel enough:

I’m trying to find pride in myself, really I am. But it’s just all these flaws that I keep finding in myself that make me feel so ashamed. Today’s thing was not being “Mexican enough.” It’s almost ironic how people feel so disconnected from who they are when they’ve got so much history to prove them wrong or the color of their skin says otherwise. I was never taught or brought up to speak Spanish and I used to wish that I wasn’t born a Mexican because I felt like I’d never live up to the title. I still struggle with feeling welcomed by family members who speak nothing but the language I was deprived of. I still struggle with feeling comfortable and confident in the pigment that is so noticeable in my skin. It means nothing to me somedays and I condemn myself for feeling this way. I hated never being able to relate to jokes my friends spoke in tongues that I never grew accustomed to, yet I played the part so elegantly and made everyone believe the facade. For a while, I was enough. I was never questioned if I understood what they were saying, never asked why I didn’t know how to speak the language that should have been programmed into my brain. I was Mexican enough. But suddenly everyone knew the “secret.” And I remember feeling so ashamed. I know it’s silly and there are plenty of others out there who are just as identical in their situation as me, but I am someone that overthinks and over-analyzes and over feels.  I still get that sinking feeling in my chest when I visit distant family members on my dad’s side who secretly question why I can’t eloquently roll my r’s or ask my dad why I can’t hold a full-on conversation without having to use google translate to feel included. Listening to the ballads that my dad loves to cruise to on a Friday evening and having to ask what the singer means every five seconds. I feel blinded sometimes by my lack of culture. My grandma tells me I am a powerful Chicana woman and I smile foolishly believing for a second that I could be everything I wanted to when I was younger just because my grandma told me so. But it is getting harder to remember the words. Harder to convince myself that a Spanish class will help me reach my full Mexican potential. This endless internal battle leaving me breathless and hurt. And yet still I remind myself, ignorantly, that one day I will be enough.