Rejection Can Hurt, But Don’t Let the Hurt Win

Whether it is a job interview, a college application or someone saying no to an intimate question, we have all been rejected. Rejection is a part of life, but how much does it really affect our health?

That feeling, that stab-like pain in your chest when something mentally harms you – it isn’t just in your head.

“The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain,” said Guy Winch in his article “Why rejection hurts so much — and what to do about it.” “That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, because they elicit literal pain.”

Pain doesn’t only come for cuts and bruises, but also from moments of stress and anxiousness.

“I would describe rejection as feeling a lot of mixed emotions.” said Jane (whose name has been changed). “It’s really hard to explain. Think of something that would make you say ‘ouch!’ and that’s kind of the idea. Something like stubbing your toe, but in your heart.”

So what is the right way to handle rejection? Maybe we could distract ourselves or turn our anger on the rejecter and get revenge?

“I personally think we should take that rejection, that force of something we don’t want to hear, and use it to our advantage,” said Jane. “Turn the meaning around a little. Instead of hearing ‘No, sorry’ we hear ‘There is a better opportunity.’”

Jane believes that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Taking offense to a simple word shows you are weak and can’t survive on your own. Move on with your life, there are plenty more opportunities, colleges, and people that are going to say yes.

“Take your time, things will happen when they are meant to happen.” said Jane. “I think of it this way; those times that you get Déjà Vu, that is when you are in the right place at the correct time. Kind of like you are on the right track to where you should be going.”

So when you are feeling that pain in your chest that makes you want to lay in bed all day and not talk to anyone, push out of your comfort zone a little. Go out with your friends, clean the house, try on that new dress you have no excuse to wear.

“Be who you want to be, not who people think you are!” said Jane.

So when people think you’re weird, let your freak flag fly. There is nobody worth your time that is going to reject you. When they think you are lazy, work your butt off to prove them wrong. There is no one you should care about that would drag you down. And when they think you are lonely and have no friends, tell the true reason you really stay alone. Tell them you are alone because you love yourself more than those people ever will.

So is being rejected all that bad? I don’t think it is, because why waste your time on something meaningless that will only cause you pain?

“I want to be who I really am and that is when I will learn who really cares,” said Jane. “Killing two birds with one stone never seemed so useful. I encourage you to let them say no and carry on with your life. Don’t think about them, don’t get caught in their trap because that’s what they want. If you can’t have what you want, why should you let them have theirs?”

We shouldn’t let little rejections take hold of our lives. Let’s live free and be ourselves, nobody important and healthy for you is going to care because they have already accepted you for who you really are. They didn’t hold on to that second side that follows the crowd.

“Being rejected comes with pain, but why should we let it get to us?” said Jane. “Why should we let it build up when we could use it to make us stronger? Be a leader, not a follower.”