Juggling Two Parents

Being the child of divorced or separated parents comes with a unique set of challenges.


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“My parents were officially separated when I was like three, but I mean my mom and Dad were always together because of me. I was kind of confused cuz I was like are they together are they not, but like I never asked until my mom brought like a new man into our life and that when I was like okay they aren’t together.”

Angelina Sanchez, senior, was six when she realized that her parents were separated. She was living a life where she would see her dad on weekends and was with her mom during the week. There were some struggles when it came to emotionally accepting it.

“I thought that it was kind of normal because I knew that kids had parents that were separated, but I mean I was always surrounded by my cousins and they had parents who were together,” Sanchez said. “At the time I was an only child and I felt like I was the only one who had separated parents so I was the one who had to go to different houses each weekend.”

One thing that Sanchez liked about her parents being separated was, “ When I would have issues with my mom I would like get away by going with my dad and vise versa.”The things that Angelina disliked about having separated parents was, “Like anything I did I had to do it twice like family events. My parents couldn’t be together so like everything was just separated. Also for like my promotion to come to high school my parents sat on different sides so it was like kind of hard”. She would have liked to have both parents together for one event.

In the article “The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children,”Amy Morin states, “As you might expect, research has found that kids struggle the most during the first year or two after the divorce. Kids are likely to experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief. But many kids seem to bounce back. They get used to changes in their daily routines and they grow comfortable with their living arrangements.”

“ I accept it and I was used to it and I knew that there was nothing that I could change,”Sanchez said. “I had to understand that it was my parents decision and just had to roll with it.”According to Morin, “Grade school children may worry that the divorce is their fault. They may fear they misbehaved or they may assume they did something wrong.”

“I feel bad because when my parents fight it is usually because of me,” Sanchez said. “They have bad communication with each other and when I need something like for school they go half on it. They’ll argue about money situations and I would feel bad because I need something and they were fighting because if me.”

It wasn’t until last year that Sanchez was able to pick the days when she would want to go see her dad.

“When I was little I usually would visit my dad on the weekends and like for Christmas break I would stay with his for like a week and then go back with my mom,” Sanchez said.Last year I was able to choose the days when I would want to go with my dad. My parents felt like I was old enough to decide when I would want to spend time with each of them.”

Angelina’s thoughts about her parent occur to her everyday.

“I think about it everyday,” Sanchez said. “I tell myself like not to be rude but I always tell myself that I don’t want to turn out like my parents. My mom had me at eighteen and growing up I remember being around my grandparents a lot. I lived with them basically my whole life. I have always told myself to be better and make my parents proud by not following in their footsteps.”

When Angelina was ten years old her mom had met this man who would eventually became Angie’s stepdad. Angelina has a little sister named Jasmine who is diagnosed with autism.

“It actually makes me genuinely happy to know that considering that my sister has autism that she gets to grow up with both parents,” Sanchez said. “Even though I didn’t have that I’m happy that at least she does. Even if she didn’t have autism I would still feel happy because it would be nice for her to grow up being raised by both parents together.”